It's been far too long since I've posted, I realize. I am still very much adjusting to how this whole blog thing is supposed to work. Be patient with me! :)

While there are dozens of items I'd like to talk about, I will just choose one for right now. There will be time to tackle pressing issues like the oil spill and the recent annihilation of Miranda rights, but now is the time to talk about something truly grave:  nail polish.

My younger sister is currently preparing for her senior prom and asked me to accompany her on a trip to the local beauty supply store on a quest to locate the perfect shade of pink nail polish to match her dress. As a pretty no-nonsense grrrl myself, I tend to eschew these cosmetic concoctions and can't stand when my nails are not bitten to the quick. Yet as I found myself trapped in the aisle as a deadlock between two seemingly identical hues kicked off, I started browsing in spite of myself.

At first, I was entertained by some of the clever names the manufacturers had given the colors. "Fishnet Stockings" was a deep and sultry red, while "We'll Always Have Paris" was creamy and diaphanous. I even giggled by some of the puns they had chosen to make- "Pinking of You" and "Don't Socra-Tease Me" amused me. I noticed an alarming trend, though:  they had clearly developed geographically themed collections. "A Oui Bit of Red" and "Baguette Me Not" still had me smiling along, but then I suddenly found myself staring at the India collection and "Lunch at the Delhi" and "MonSooner or Later." This began to distress me. 

Then it was all downhill- and fast: "La Paz-itively Hot," "Belize It or Not," and, the real kicker for me, "Tutti-Frutti Tonga." "Chick Flick Cherry," "Mimosas for the Mr. and Mrs.," "I'm a Princess- You're Not," and "Italian Love Affair" didn't even try to conceal their intentions with humor and punnery.

I was livid. How could a company so willfully exploit cities and countries that the consumers of their polishes were certain to never have given a moment's consideration? I found this utterly appalling. The polishes were also selling for upwards of ten dollars a bottle. The annual GDP per capita of Tonga is estimated to be $2,687. Just saying. This is also to say nothing of the fact that so many of the shades simply pandered to false hopes and the illusions of normal, perfect hetero bliss seemed nothing short of exploitative. Maybe this is a testament to the kind of girl who would choose to wear nail polish, but that seems immediately exclusionary and presumptuous to me. I know that marketing strategies like this tend to be effective, but perhaps that's exactly what we should be concerned about.

When my sister finally made her selection, she went with "Bachelorette Bash." I remain speechless. I hope it doesn't seem trivial for me to spend so much time discussing what is admittedly minutiae. Yet the very fact that even nail polish shades have to reflect the image of a life that is not really attainable is a testament to how insidious the logic of (insert -ism/-archy) is and how pervasive it has truly become. But don't take my word for it- browse the shades yourself!

http://www.nailpolishdiva.com/opi_soft_nail_polish.htm